Squatty Potty 101

“What’s the bathroom like?” That’s the most common question I get. People are really asking about the toilet. The squatty potty is the norm for most of China, although some places, like higher-level hotels, have Western toilets. All public bathrooms and most homes have squatty potties. My apartment is no different.

The squatty potty does take a bit of practice. You don’t want to pee on yourself, right? You have to squat and position yourself so that you hit the potty, not the floor next to it or your jeans. Getting cocky is pointless. Just when I thought I had my method down pat, I was careless, and I peed on my sweatpants. Laundry day came a bit early. I also NEVER keep anything in my back pockets anymore. Your treasured items slip out and right down the potty hole. Trust me ... you don’t want to stick your hands down that hole. A friend has lost two cell phones this way.

Men have a distinct advantage for the squatty potty, most of the time. All they have to do is stand, aim, and pee. Women must squat every time they want to pee. We can try to stand, but that usually misfires, and we pee on ourselves. Our “stream” isn’t as direct ... one of life's unfair things. 

People in China think Western toilets are kind of gross. “You sit, naked, on a seat that other people sit on?” they ask. That doesn’t sound very appealing, when the question’s posed that way. It does sound nasty.

A Chinese friend said that the squatty potty is actually better for your body because the action of squatting keeps your body and bowels in better alignment. Your system functions and “flows” more naturally. I don’t know if this is true or not. I do consider it when I am "in position." Everyone has an explanation for everything, Eastern and Western.

The squatty potty sits right under the shower. One hole equals one drain for everything. Every time I shower, my potty gets a bath, too. Yay! My toilet is cleaned more in China than in past homes. There's a drawback -- I really don’t want to drop anything in the shower. That washcloth or bottle of shampoo will well end up in the potty, followed by a series of colorful curse words. I also wear flip flops in the shower. Pee splatters, and I don't want to stand bare foot in it, even if it is my own.

It’s a given in China that you only use public restrooms in emergencies. Avoid them at all costs. They really are the worst China has to offer. Simply put, they are disgusting. One thing Western toilets do well is direct all waste in one place, in one direction, and out of site. Squatting leads to misfires of all kinds. Your imagination can ponder this. Also, you must always bring your own toilet paper. Forget once, and you learn your lesson.